Breaking Outside the Bubble

At the end of the summer, I realized that this past summer was definitely tied for the best summer I’ve experienced so far in my existence (the other contender is the summer between junior and senior year of high school. Shout out to The Gals). Coming off such a great summer, I was anxious to begin another school year, learn tons of new stuff, see my friends again, and probably make some new ones. After feeling so free and full of inspiration and life over the summer, I’ve found myself not feeling that same bit of magic since school has started.

Since I’m a junior now, all of my classes relate to my major and minors, meaning I’m in all English and art classes. That sounds so prime, right? Well, for some reason it’s not as fulfilling as I anticipated. Although I’m enjoying creating and reading in all of my classes, I’ve realized that for the first time that I can recall, school isn’t the main thing I want to focus my energy on. After being at school for part of the summer, working a little and having time to spend hours in a coffee shop writing (I’m not an asshole, I swear), or spend the afternoon sitting on my front porch sketching, I kind of wish I had that same bit of time to freely create and do things that make my soul happy. School certainly does make my soul happy, but I suppose I got too used to being more in control of my time. 

The Gals, this summer

I write and edit for a beautiful online magazine called the Lala, and that is quickly becoming something I wish I could spend more time with. I’ve also done several commissioned art projects over the past few months, and I wish I could spend more time on those, rather than squeezing them in between school things. Even outside of creating things on my own time, I crave more time to create and sustain relationships with others. I live with two of my best friends in a small room in my sorority house, yet there have been several times throughout this semester where we’ve gone days without seeing one another because we’re all so busy. Outside of that friendship, I have other relationships that I wish I had more time for as well. It’s just a strange place to be mentally, where I know that all of the people and opportunities I have are because of me being at school, yet I wish I didn’t have school to distract me from these people and opportunities.

This feels a bit like I’m coming across saying I’m not enjoying school, and that’s not the case. I can’t properly articulate how I feel. I guess I’m just lazy and wish I didn’t have things to do all the time. I feel like school is something I have to do, rather than something I’m excited for. I still get excited about school, but not as consistently as I have in the past. I think it’s because I’m straddling the idea of being a student and being in the so-called “Butler Bubble,” and wanting to break out of this bubble and do things “in real life” that I want to do.

I know next year as a senior when “real life” is quickly approaching, I’ll crave more time in the bubble, but this is how I feel now. I’ve concluded that just because I feel differently about school and my focuses are changing, that doesn’t mean that’s not okay. I still love learning. I still enjoy all my classes. I’m still creating things and improving my creative skills because of my peers and professors. I just would like the space to apply these things to projects outside of school.

Do you feel the same way? Stuck in a rut between doing school things and wanting to do outside of school things? Not sure? Think about it. Self-reflection is fun.

Garnering Good Vibes

Today was an incredibly inspiring day.

I’m currently living in Indianapolis for the next month teaching art camp at Butler, and today between teaching, my teaching pals and I wandered over to Clowes Hall to witness a 40 foot by 20 foot mural being painted by artist Phil O’Malley. This mural will be hung near the main entrance of Clowes, and it is incredible! Erin, Ali, and I wandered into the auditorium where Phil was painting the mural on stage. We explained we’re art students, and he kindly greeted us and proceeded to enthusiastically describe his inspiration for the piece, as well as the process for his painting. 

The artist at work.

The electricity and passion for which he holds in his craft was incredibly evident. His eyes lit up as he explained the field of the canvas he’s painted on so far. Each time he’d lead us to explore an area of the canvas, he’d discover a new way the colors he laid down played with one another, surprising himself. He credited the paint for the work so far, and personified the paint and canvas in a way that brought the whole piece to life. Phil talked a lot about the process in which he paints. He uses different layers of oil paint, spray paint, and turpentine, all of which he squirts onto the canvas in ketchup and mustard bottles, then lets drip. He allows the paint to kind of do what it wants, and he only controls the colors he puts down. He also plans on painting a good deal of the canvas with mops. He said he got this idea after he saw some people mopping up dust on the stage where he’s working. How cool is that?

Talking to Phil and having him show us his technique inspired me so much. The way his entire being lit up as he explained his piece, and observing him as he created, reminded me once again what I love so much about art (and artists in general). I love that art has so much soul in it. Anytime I speak to artists, they get so visibly excited talking about their work and inspiration, that it’s clear they truly love what they’re doing; that they’re creating not only because they love to create, but because they have to. They have to create in order to feel complete. That’s such a beautiful thing. I’m so thankful Phil shared his passion with me today, and helped remind me what I love about creating. 

A close up.

The piece should be up in August, but until then, Phil will be painting every day over the next few weeks, so feel free to stop by if you’re in the area.

Another inspiring note: Indiana legalized gay marriage today. This world is pretty cool.

Complacency Does Not Yield Creativity

Joseph Chilton Pearce once said, “To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong.” Now, I’m not sure who this Pearce character is, but I wholeheartedly agree with him. I’ve only been home for about a week now, but since I’ve been home, I’ve gotten so many rad ideas for art projects and things I want to write. I’ll think about starting a project, get really excited and inspired by the prospect of it and how I think people will react to it, then I will just leave it in my brain or half-assedly outlined in my sketchbook. I did this all last summer as well, and didn’t create anything until the last bit I was home. Last summer I told myself that I needed to take a break from making things since it is my major and I spent the past nine months doing nothing but letting my creative juices flow. Although taking a break from what you do all the time isn’t a bad thing, I think I used this mindset as an excuse.

Whenever I am home, I feel significantly less inspired than when I am at school. I get most inspired by people I’m around or cool things I observe, and when I’m home in a town where I’ve lived my whole life, surrounded by the people I’ve been around my whole life, I struggle to be wowed and find inspiration around me. Instead of recognizing this and challenging myself to seek out inspiring situations, I usually just accept it and go a few months without creating anything cool. Well, truthfully that feels really wrong and makes me feel anxious and kind of sad. Maybe I sound like an asshole, but so much of what makes me myself I’ve discovered through art and creating. Making art gives me a reason to be weird for no reason. I love that. Since art is something that is so essential to me functioning properly and feeling happiest, I can’t use my struggle for inspiration as an excuse. I need to work through that and seek inspiration in new places. Keeping Mr. Pearce’s words in mind, I must give up the fear of being wrong. Now, in this case I’m not exactly fearful of being wrong or making something I’m not proud of. I’m just blocking myself off from finding a creative routine at home since I’m so used to having a creative routine at school. I kind of view my life at school as something separate from my life at home, and I’m afraid to bridge the gap between those two worlds.

I was looking at a bunch of quotes and stuff on Pinterest last night, and it sparked several ideas for new projects I want to do. I went to Michael’s today and bought a bunch of stuff, and thought of about five or six projects that I could do with each supply I bought. Since I now have all of these cool ideas brewing in my brain, I need to actually execute them. Summer is good for lounging around doing nothing, but when creating is essential for your happiness you must toss the classic summer doings to the wayside and make stuff! Just play. Making things is playful and fun and about experimentation. Even if you make something you don’t like, you experimented with different techniques and ways of working to get there. And now you know a way of working that doesn’t jive with your aesthetic. It’s a win-win. 

#Supplies

I suppose I’m writing this out as a promise to myself that I will start making something every day. I either need to write every day or work on some of the projects brewing in my brain. I have also been working on updating my artist website, and I need to actually get that done too. I fall into the habit of starting a creative project, and without school to give me a deadline for its completion, I just let it drag on for as long as possible.

So here’s my game plan for the rest of the summer:

1. Finish my artist website and update my resume.

2. Write some poetry-I need to finish all of the poem nuggets I’ve begun and flesh them out into something magical.

3. Make some art- I have a bunch of ideas for paintings I want to do, and a huge four-foot by five-foot canvas that I’m itching to get my hands on. I need to stop itching and actually scratch it.

Now that I’ve addressed my complacency on the Internet, I have no choice but actually do something about it. Thanks Internet for letting me empty some of my brain pocket into your loving arms.

Stay cool friends, and don’t be afraid to make stuff.

Where I've Been

Happy Saturday to all! I haven’t posted in a really long time, and that is because I have been a tad busy. Let me fill you in on my life as of late.

If you follow me on Twitter, you would have seen I tweeted about writing for a blog called U lala. U lala is a fashion and lifestyle blog focused on college students and fun things to do around a college campus. I obviously write for the Butler branch, and am quite excited to contribute to this site. It is really pretty to look at and the posts range from music recommendations (like my Music Monday posts), to DIY crafts, to cool things to do around each school’s campus. Check it out. I promise you’ll like it. Here’s my first post for the site.

My student's sketch of me. #SoProud

I was also busy this past week because I was back at Butler teaching an art camp. The camp was through the Butler Women’s Volleyball Camp that was going on. The kids played volleyball in the morning and then I had them for art in the afternoon. I was incredibly nervous going into the week because I had never taught art to anyone before, let alone a group of 16 seven to ten-year-olds. Luckily, all of the kids were super well behaved and loved all of the projects we did. A few of the kids told me I looked like Carly Rae Jepson, one girl drew me in her sketchbook, and a few others proudly exclaimed they loved art. Needless to say, it was a great week.

Now I’m back at home and anxiously awaiting my trip to Lollapalooza next week. I will definitely blog about that, so watch out if that interests you at all. I have also read some good books lately, so I will blog about those later in the week.

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful weekend :)

Ai Weiwei: According to What?

Happy Tuesday all! In a previous post, I mentioned that I saw an exhibit at the Indianapolis Museum of Art by an artist named Ai Weiwei. The exhibit was incredibly inspiring, and convinced me that Ai Weiwei is a total bad ass.

Ai Weiwei is a Chinese artist from Beijing. He was born there and moved to the United States for a period of time, but moved back in 1993. Weiwei's work focuses on human rights and social change, which caused him trouble with the Chinese government, starting in 2009. Three years prior, Weiwei began blogging, commenting on the politics of China. After he began a project to collect names of over 5,000 children who were killed in the May 2008 Sichuan earthquake, the government took notice.

His politically charged work and blog angered the government, prompting them to shut the blog down in 2009. Soon after, Weiwei was beaten by police, and later put on house arrest. In early 2011, his studio was destroyed by authorities, and he was secretly detained in April of that year. The government said he was detained for tax issues, but Weiwei denies that as the reason. He was kept for three months, and released, then released a documentary called Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry about his art and social activism, clearly showing that this run-in with the government would not change his art or ways of thinking.

Since his release, Weiwei has been carefully watched by the government, which is reflected in his work through a marble surveillance camera sculpture featured in the exhibit at the IMA, Ai Weiwei: According to What? His "fuck you" attitude is also reflected in his work through a series of photographs of him flicking off national monuments, as well as a series of photos where he smashes a Han Dynasty urn.

Dropping a Han Dynasty Urn

He blatantly showcases his interactions with the government in the exhibit through a photo he took right after he was taken by the government,

Picture he took after he was arrested

as well as an enlarged photo of a scan of his swollen brain after being beaten.

He has gotten so much crap from the Chinese government for his work, he has been physically beaten, and has been detained for 81 days, yet he still produces work that speaks to what he believes in. Ai Wewei is a total bad ass. There is no other way to put it. He sticks to his guns and produces controversial work, no matter the consequence, because it provides commentary on issues he thinks are important. As an artist of any sort, that is the main thing one strives for. Seeing him achieve his goal, despite physical consequences, is inspiring beyond belief. I could honestly talk about the exhibit for many more paragraphs, but I don't want to make this post too long. Instead, check out this really great video John Green made about the exhibit.

If you live near Indianapolis, please, please go see the exhibit! It will be at the IMA until July 21st, and costs $12, but it is so worth the money.

Have a great week, and thanks for reading :)

A Trip to Indiana

Happy Saturday to all! Sorry I have not been posting too much on here. I have a lot of stuff I want to talk about, so I will most certainly get back to posting several times a week.

Earlier this week, I went to Westfield, Indiana to visit my (former) roommate, Ashni, as well as my good friends Katie and Brandon. It was so, so great to see the three of them because I missed them quite a bit. On the second day of my visit, Ashni, Katie, and I went out to lunch with my (former) RA, Kelly.

Katie, Ashni, and me

Ashni and I became great friends with Kelly this past year, and since Katie was always in our room, she did too. After we went out to lunch, we went to the Indianapolis Museum of Art. I went and saw the Ai Wei Wei exhibit, and it was glorious! I am going to blog about that next week, so keep an eye out for that!

After the museum, we took Kelly back to Butler where she is taking summer classes and being an RA for the other summer class takers on campus. Being back at school, even for a short amount of time, was really refreshing. I am quite enjoying being home, but I deeply missed my friends from school.

Kelly, me, and Ashni

Highlights from the trip: 1. When at lunch with Kelly, I had an allergic reaction of sorts to what I was eating. My throat and lips were really tingly and tickly. It was strange.
2. When driving home on Thursday night, I was caught in a treacherous rainstorm!! There was no rain for a very long time, then I drove under a little bridge underpass, and when I emerged, the downpour began! It was intense.

Have a righteous weekend, and thanks for reading :)