Stereotyping Shenanigans

Last night I went to a party with some of my roommates and two new friends. I love making new friends and learning about people, so whilst at said party, I struck up a conversation with a kid we will call Billy*. “Billy” complimented my outfit: a black and white polka dot dress with red high top sneakers, complete with my house key tied to the laces, and then we started chatting. We talked about what we each did that day, our majors, where we worked, movies we liked, music we listened to, and things we enjoyed doing; you know, classic party small talk. When he asked me where I was living next year, and I replied that I’d be living in Theta, my sorority house, my new acquaintance was taken aback. Billy kind of jolted his head back a little bit and got a funny look on his face, then said something along the lines of, “Oh really. You’re in a sorority? That surprises me.” I’ve gotten that response from people many times before, but Billy said these words as if he had a bad taste in his mouth; like he’d just drank a whole gallon of prune juice. I told Billy, “Yes, I am in a sorority. I lived in the house this past year and really enjoyed myself, so I’m living in again this coming school year.” Then Billy oh so eloquently replied, “Ehh, don’t you kind of feel like a sell-out?”

After noting my funky fresh outfit, having a surface level conversation with me, and knowing me for no more than approximately nine minutes, Billy really knew everything about me: all of my interests, everything I’m involved in, and of course why I’m involved in the things I am. Not to mention the way my brain works, and what joy I do or do not get from the activities I participate in. Billy was like suuuuper perceptive and really knew enough about me in that moment to know if my participation in anything would be considered “selling out.” (If you don’t note the sarcasm here, I’m gonna punch something). I politely replied, “No, not at all. I mean, I really like Theta, but it’s just another thing I’m involved in. I’m involved in a lot of stuff, so it’s just another thing I do.” Billy acted as if he didn’t believe me, then said, “Ah, well you’re probably the only girl in Theta rockin’ high tops with a key attached to them.” Apparently in addition to knowing me super well, he also knows the personal style of every member of Kappa Alpha Theta. SOMEBODY PUT THIS KID ON TV! HE’S AMAAAZING! After that sentiment, Billy and I said our polite nice to meet you’s, then parted ways.

My interaction with Billy really ruffled my feathers, not only because he was being rude and assuming things about me, but also because I’ve met other Billys before, as have many people. Your involvement or un-involvement in a Greek house does not define you. I view Greek life literally as another club or activity I participate in. I am involved in way too many things as is, and I will admit that my sorority isn’t at the top of my priority list, and that’s a-okay. I put as much time into it as I want to, and that works well for me. Some people do value their Greek house as their main activity, so they devote more time to it, and some people don’t want to participate at all, so they don’t join a house; these are both great options too.

I really enjoy Theta and am glad I’m in this house, but my house does not define me. Just because there are some people in the house who might like Lily Pulitzer and pearls, or some that really like going on five mile runs and wearing baseball caps, that doesn’t mean I necessarily enjoy those things too. Just because I have my nose pierced and like putting funny colors in my hair, that doesn’t mean that other girls in my house enjoy that too. Just because some people in the house do or do not like that stuff, that doesn’t mean that everyone in the house enjoys those same things. As with any club or group you’re involved with, there will be a diverse group of people with diverse interests, and it would be wrong to assume that every single person in that club shares those same interests in all aspects of life. Yes, I surely have things in common with the girls in my house, that’s why I’m in that house, because we get along, but I don’t live my life the exact same way as someone else in the house does; no one in the history of the universe has ever lived their life in the exact same way as someone else. Let’s stop assuming that just because someone is in a certain sorority that they have a certain type of personality or certain interests, or dress a certain way. That is wrong and ignorant.

Consequently, just because someone isn’t in a Greek house, let’s not assume that they hate Greek life or that they don’t have friends in houses, or any other silly assumption one could make. That is equally wrong and ignorant. Let’s realize that individuals make up any club or organization, and individuals make up Greek houses. People need to STOP stereotyping houses based off the behaviors of just the people in the house you know, and stop associating a certain personality or behavior with a whole house. This kind of thinking irritates the living daylights out of me. I’m not exactly like anyone in my house. No one is exactly like anyone in my house. I’m not exactly like anyone in any club I’m in, and no one is exactly like anyone in the clubs either. My house does not define me, nor does it define anyone else in the house. Through all of our individual interests and personalities, we all help define it, just as would happen with any club.

Let’s all stop being stereotyping, close-minded individuals, and let’s stop judging people for liking the things they like. Ya dig?

*Billy isn’t this dude’s real name. I changed it for story-telling purposes. Ooooh, creative license! 

Garnering Good Vibes

Today was an incredibly inspiring day.

I’m currently living in Indianapolis for the next month teaching art camp at Butler, and today between teaching, my teaching pals and I wandered over to Clowes Hall to witness a 40 foot by 20 foot mural being painted by artist Phil O’Malley. This mural will be hung near the main entrance of Clowes, and it is incredible! Erin, Ali, and I wandered into the auditorium where Phil was painting the mural on stage. We explained we’re art students, and he kindly greeted us and proceeded to enthusiastically describe his inspiration for the piece, as well as the process for his painting. 

The artist at work.

The electricity and passion for which he holds in his craft was incredibly evident. His eyes lit up as he explained the field of the canvas he’s painted on so far. Each time he’d lead us to explore an area of the canvas, he’d discover a new way the colors he laid down played with one another, surprising himself. He credited the paint for the work so far, and personified the paint and canvas in a way that brought the whole piece to life. Phil talked a lot about the process in which he paints. He uses different layers of oil paint, spray paint, and turpentine, all of which he squirts onto the canvas in ketchup and mustard bottles, then lets drip. He allows the paint to kind of do what it wants, and he only controls the colors he puts down. He also plans on painting a good deal of the canvas with mops. He said he got this idea after he saw some people mopping up dust on the stage where he’s working. How cool is that?

Talking to Phil and having him show us his technique inspired me so much. The way his entire being lit up as he explained his piece, and observing him as he created, reminded me once again what I love so much about art (and artists in general). I love that art has so much soul in it. Anytime I speak to artists, they get so visibly excited talking about their work and inspiration, that it’s clear they truly love what they’re doing; that they’re creating not only because they love to create, but because they have to. They have to create in order to feel complete. That’s such a beautiful thing. I’m so thankful Phil shared his passion with me today, and helped remind me what I love about creating. 

A close up.

The piece should be up in August, but until then, Phil will be painting every day over the next few weeks, so feel free to stop by if you’re in the area.

Another inspiring note: Indiana legalized gay marriage today. This world is pretty cool.

Fantasyland Friendships

I worked at a summer camp last week, and whilst there, it made me think back to my own time attending summer camp. I went to Camp Tecumseh, a camp in northern Indiana, the summer after eighth grade. I had never been to camp before, so I was anxious to explore this uncharted territory and do some cool stuff. While at camp, my friend Ally and I bonded with two girls in our cabin: Natalie and Brenna. Natalie and Brenna were cousins, and Ally and I were best friends, so the four of us bonded hardcore and quickly became great pals for the week. We even met up and kept in touch after camp ended. I had a similar experience the summer before my junior year of high school. I participated in a scholarship recognition pageant, and quickly became great friends with three girls there: Katie, Miranda, and Dani. Similar to my experience at camp, the four of us became friends really quickly and kept in touch after the pageant was over. 

Miranda, me, Katie, and Dani

Besides these two instances, I’ve experienced situations where I meet someone in a context different than my everyday routine, and I feel especially connected to them in that moment. I think we feel a different level of connectivity to these people we meet and know only for a short amount of time because we meet these people outside of our existing reality. In my case, I attended a summer camp and a pageant that were both several days long, and totally took me out of my routine of my every day life. Since you’re removed from your existing reality and everything you hold constant in your life, you and everyone involved have nothing to worry about but the experience you’re all set up to have together. Once you feel an initial spark of friendship with this person, you know your time with them is limited and will end whenever your conference or camp together is over. You recognize that, and subconsciously avoid small talk and dive into deeper, more meaningful conversation and experiences together as a means to feel close to this person faster. Plus, you know you likely won’t see them again at the end of the week, so you feel a little less embarrassed or nervous about the relationship. At the time you meet them, your realities are both pretty similar. You’re both at a conference for similar reasons, you’re both away from home, and you’re both excited about it. Your current realities line up nicely, so you’re able to fully dive into friendship without the interference of your real life outside of this experience getting in the way. You already have something in common with this person by being in the same, isolated place, and since you’re there for a limited amount of time and you know of nothing but the people and place surrounding you, you’re living in a mini fantasyland.

I’ve found that these types of relationships are extremely meaningful, and you often notice qualities in these people faster than you would if you met them in a different context. You leave the place you met them feeling as if you were supposed to experience this person in your life, and even though it was for a short amount of time, it was still extremely significant. Perhaps we should all employ this same zealousness in all of our friendships, not just in the ones that exist in alternate realities.