Fantasyland Friendships

I worked at a summer camp last week, and whilst there, it made me think back to my own time attending summer camp. I went to Camp Tecumseh, a camp in northern Indiana, the summer after eighth grade. I had never been to camp before, so I was anxious to explore this uncharted territory and do some cool stuff. While at camp, my friend Ally and I bonded with two girls in our cabin: Natalie and Brenna. Natalie and Brenna were cousins, and Ally and I were best friends, so the four of us bonded hardcore and quickly became great pals for the week. We even met up and kept in touch after camp ended. I had a similar experience the summer before my junior year of high school. I participated in a scholarship recognition pageant, and quickly became great friends with three girls there: Katie, Miranda, and Dani. Similar to my experience at camp, the four of us became friends really quickly and kept in touch after the pageant was over. 

Miranda, me, Katie, and Dani

Besides these two instances, I’ve experienced situations where I meet someone in a context different than my everyday routine, and I feel especially connected to them in that moment. I think we feel a different level of connectivity to these people we meet and know only for a short amount of time because we meet these people outside of our existing reality. In my case, I attended a summer camp and a pageant that were both several days long, and totally took me out of my routine of my every day life. Since you’re removed from your existing reality and everything you hold constant in your life, you and everyone involved have nothing to worry about but the experience you’re all set up to have together. Once you feel an initial spark of friendship with this person, you know your time with them is limited and will end whenever your conference or camp together is over. You recognize that, and subconsciously avoid small talk and dive into deeper, more meaningful conversation and experiences together as a means to feel close to this person faster. Plus, you know you likely won’t see them again at the end of the week, so you feel a little less embarrassed or nervous about the relationship. At the time you meet them, your realities are both pretty similar. You’re both at a conference for similar reasons, you’re both away from home, and you’re both excited about it. Your current realities line up nicely, so you’re able to fully dive into friendship without the interference of your real life outside of this experience getting in the way. You already have something in common with this person by being in the same, isolated place, and since you’re there for a limited amount of time and you know of nothing but the people and place surrounding you, you’re living in a mini fantasyland.

I’ve found that these types of relationships are extremely meaningful, and you often notice qualities in these people faster than you would if you met them in a different context. You leave the place you met them feeling as if you were supposed to experience this person in your life, and even though it was for a short amount of time, it was still extremely significant. Perhaps we should all employ this same zealousness in all of our friendships, not just in the ones that exist in alternate realities.